The name’s Tera… It might not matter to you.. But I have a story to tell.
I’ve liked this guy since August. The feelings I have for him are weird. They’re the kind that, if he doesn’t feel the same for me, it doesn’t really matter. Or so I think. I thought I had hid my feelings from him so well. But boy was I wrong. The first night we skyped, He told me I was very pretty… He would’ve dated me, but he just isn’t about that life at the moment… I was like “What?”… That was quite random. And he told me he knew I liked him… Whoa.. So much for thinking I was a G hiding my feelings.. Epic Fail in that department.. I remember when I saw him after that; I was the shyest nigga you would’ve ever seen. You would have thought I had never met him before. But I didn’t wanna be that person.. I decided I had to grow up.. It was necessary. All the days of high school, of being shy when a guy knew you liked him, there’s no need for that anymore right?
He was so nice to me. So very nice. So polite… A gentleman if you will. My feelings for him start to dwindle and when I think I feel for him no more, they come rushing again. (My emotions….) He was supposed to cook for me the other day. I guess he forgot.. (He’s the forgetful type) He offered to teach me to play Black Ops 2 instead. It was pretty fun too. And I finally told him I liked him by myself.. I wonder if he feels the same way.. But in all honesty, I don’t think I want to know. My feelings for him have reached the point where I guess it does matter. And plus, I enjoy being his friend..
I’m lost in my emotions.. Because at the same time I am in love with another fellow. The one that I know will surely be my downfall if things don’t come to an end.. Who do I really feel for? And which of them actually feels for me?
-Tera, A Lost Heart